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  • Alane Stanton

Take the Trip!

Updated: May 5, 2022

I tell my family and my friends I’m going to California. By myself. They think I’m crazy. I think I’m brave. OK, maybe I’m a little bit of both.

Eight years ago, the way I traveled changed. Forever? I hope not, but who knows. Divorce changed a lot of things. Having a companion and family to travel with was wonderful. No loneliness, no boredom with children’s antics, and always the trip was planned to the max. It was my job to make sure everyone was happy and had a great time.

Now I travel alone.BUT still with NO loneliness, no boredom, and with minimal planning … It is still my job to make sure every “single” one has a great time. I have the freedom to do what I want; when I want. Being a photographer and writer, I am inspired everywhere I go by the people I meet, the places I go, and the things I see.

I talk to perfect strangers. Sometimes I take pics with perfect strangers, because by the time we take a photo we are no longer strangers, but friends.

On this trip for instance, I made friends with a young man from India on a bus tour. Two women from Berkeley while waiting in line for an exhibit. A delightful man from Zimbabwe on an Uber ride. A former Navy lifer while eating dinner at the bar in a restaurant close to my hotel. Why sit alone, unless that is your preference?

On this new journey called Singleness, I have found myself traveling quite a bit. Most of my friends say, “ I could never do what you do!” My response, “Try it sometime!”

And others ask, “Aren’t you scared to go it alone?” My answer, “Nope.”

While I didn’t plan on divorce, or being single again, such is the state in which I find myself. BUT I will continue to live my life. Explore new places. Step out in faith. Be brave. Why not?

I am a firm believer in the love and protection of my Heavenly Father. He will never leave me, and HE is always by my side. Divorce is sometimes scary, but with Jesus, I will not fear for my future, my safety, or my well-being. Granted, He expects us to be cautious and use the good sense He gave us, but I do not think He expects us to live in fear of the what ifs.

What if I get lost?

What if I get mugged?

What if I lose my passport?

What if I get lonely?

What if I’m afraid?

The “what ifs” can paralyze us and keep us from living the beautiful, full lives God has in store for each of us. He created the planet, full of wonders, on which we live and have the opportunity to explore. Beauty is all around us, and if we never leave the house because of fear and what ifs, we will miss it. God created it, and He doesn’t want us to miss one single gift He has placed here for us to enjoy.

Being single is NOT the end of the world. It may have brought some changes… unwanted changes even, but God is “doing a new thing.” It can be scary at times, but we are NOT alone. (Yes, I sometimes have to remind myself of that very thing, and that’s ok.) The loneliness can sometimes be overwhelming. But that presents us with a golden opportunity to get out of bed, get off the sofa, get up from wherever we are becoming stagnant ... complacent ... comfortable ... fearful ... lonely. You get the idea.

AND I’m not just speaking to my single friends here. Many stay at home moms feel obligated to always take the family or spend time with the hubs. Some wives never go out alone without their husbands. Some widows and widowers never venture out after losing their spouse.

My ex-husband worked late hours, and I found myself alone, a lot, during our marriage. It was in those alone times I found little nuggets of time to do something just for me; the sushi bar while my daughter was at dance class; hitting my favorite store while my son was at karate; grabbing a coffee and quiet time just before car rider pick up at school.

Life is what we make it. Our time is ours to squander or enjoy. Yes, we have obligations to family and friends at times, but we also need to treat ourselves at others.

There is no guilt nor shame in putting yourself second at times … as long as Jesus remains your #1.

You can do this! Go forward in boldness and confidence. Own it!

Step out of your comfort zone.

Go out to a new restaurant. See a movie. Explore the area in which you live. Take the selfie with a stranger. Make a new friend.

And for Heaven’s sake, AND your own, TAKE THE TRIP!


“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. See? I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” - Isaiah 43:18-19

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

- Ecclesiastes 3:1

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” - Psalm 37:5

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

- Romans 12:10

(Top Photo - shameless selfie taken on a San Francisco Bay cruise to the Golden Gate Bridge and around Alcatraz and waterfront. Bottom photo taken at Pier 39.)

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